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  • Monday, October 07, 2013 9:35 AM | Jill M (Administrator)

    Halloween is an amazing time to find a date. It seems like everyone is more playful and inhibitions are lowered during these wild weekends- lucky for us, Chicago celebrates Halloween all month long with a variety of parties for you to choose from!

    Here are the matchmakers top three tips for flirting with singles on Halloween.

    1. Wear a great costume

    Men, don’t wear something silly, full masked or dirty. Women don’t want to approach the giant penis, a breast inspector or a giant chicken. Women want to be able to see the sexy, mysterious side of you. Pir

    ates, Zorros, & Warriors might be “boring” but are much easier to flirt in than fat man costumes.
    Women, you can pretty much wear what ever you want and not worry about being “unapproachable”.

    2. Keep up the mystery
    Halloween is a great time to be who ever you want to be. Be a flirt! Get out of your shell, throw on a sexy costume and flirt it up! You can be mysterious and alluring, you don’t need to get into all the details of your last breakup, your baby mamma drama, or tell her you haven’t been on a good date in ten years. Keep up the mystery and draw them in.

    3. Play into her costume
    Men, us ladies love to dress up for any occasion. Halloween is one of our favorite dress up holidays… we can let our wild side loose! Compliment us, but please don’t bring up anything dirty- just because we are dressed like a slutty school girl doesn’t mean you can treat us like a “slut”. Ask where she got her costume or what made her want to be a school girl. Don’t ask her to bend over for a spanking- or if she needs extra credit. Don’t be cheezy but be open to communication. Asking about her costume can be a great topic starter.

    Bonus

    4. Take Chances.

    Approach the girl you think is out of your league. It’s Halloween- spooky things can happen!

  • Thursday, October 03, 2013 8:00 AM | Mingle (Administrator)

    I know you’re busy and sometime’s its hard to make time and even muster the energy (and courage?) to attend some of these parties after a long day of work. Your social life might be filled with friends & family, career functions & volunteer event, work outs & hobbies… but what about the romance & love aspect? Don’t leave out the best part of life!

    It takes 2-3 months of dating before most people consider themselves truly involved with someone. If you start dating NOW (October) you’ll have a much better chance of having someone for the cold months of December & January and have someone special to spend the holidays with. New Years Eve is always better when you have someone special to kiss at midnight.

    Get out there- make this a commitment to yourself. Attending one event every month is just a drop in the hat, you should be spending as much time “dating” and putting yourself out there as you would if you were IN a relationship. So, Monday night attend a networking function for two hours, flirt & make new friends. Tuesday night, spend two hours out with friends talking to cute singles at a bar, Thursday night check out a speed dating event, Friday night- check out a party. Spend Sunday night online, updating your dating profile and planning out your week of dating events. Yes, as you probably know, I’m not a huge advocate of online dating- but I think it’s smart to keep all roads open to love!

    Finding real love is hard work. Believe it or not, most people don’t just magically bump into their future wife or husband. Get out there and make yourelf available to that right person now!

  • Friday, September 13, 2013 7:00 PM | Mingle (Administrator)

    Courting a lady isn't as straight forward as it used to be. Back in the day, dating etiquette was well-established and everybody played by the same rules. Men would open doors for women, help them with their coats, and have them home by nine. Couples would go to the soda shop for the first date, to the drive in for the second, up to "old make out point" for the third, and would most likely be getting married on the fourth. 

    1. don't take her out to dinner on the first date
      These days, the most popular first date is the weeknight 'getting-a-couple-drinks' date. And, for good reason. It's non-committal, relatively brief by necessity, and the drinks help to calm everybody's nerves. So, don't try to impress with a 4-star restaurant when you barely know the person. This way, you'll keep your wallet intact and she won't feel beholden. Plus, if the sparks don't fly, it's easy to retire the evening early.

    2. hug her at the beginning of the date
      Breaking down the physical barrier at the beginning of the date makes the rest of the date so much easier. At the beginning of the date, give her a hug, and tell her how delightful she looks. Also, by showing your attraction to her early on, you free her to reciprocate gestures of attraction throughout the date, making it easier for you to judge how well the date is going.

    3. look your best
      Well, duh. But, a lot of the times when guys try to dress up for a date, they end up wearing something they aren't truly comfortable in. You should dress up a little, sure, but, try to wear something that makes you feel like a million bucks. If you don't have any clothes that make you feel like George Clooney in Ocean's 11, go out and find some.

    4. be a class act
      Chivalry may be dead, but she'll like you more if you try to revive it just a little. Open the door for her, pull out her chair, support her on icy sidewalks, etc... Despite the obvious self sufficiency of the modern woman, courtesy is still courtesy. A dash of chivalry shows your attraction and ability to protect and nurture. But, it's important not to take this too far. You don't want to seem old fashion, or as though you're trying real hard to impress. Just be be a good, considerate guy who knows the pleasure of treating a lady as such.

    5. compliment her and others
      When you're on a date it's good to toss out a few genuine compliments. But, unless you're Dennis Leary, you probably already knew that... So, let me say that it's a good idea, not only to compliment your date, but to also talk nicely about people that you both know, or people that you've met throughout the night. By projecting kindness towards people that aren't around, you'll show that you tend to see the positive side of things, which is a very attractive characteristic.

    6. embrace your inner weird
      A lot of people tend to go all glossy on dates. Sort of like a job interview, you really just want to seem appealing. This is a mistake. First, you actually become less attractive by paving over what sets you apart... But, more importantly, if you highlight your idiosyncrasies, you've got a better shot of finding a girl that compliments you, and tolerates your obsession with minimalist free jazz.

    7. change your sheets
      Be prepared... The Boy Scouts know what they're talking about. When you go out on a date with someone, there is always the possibility that you'll end up back at your place. So, change the sheets, and get rid of any debris that is usually strewn about. If, in the end, the date was totally awkward, at least you've got a clean place to come home to.

    8. pay for the date
      That's right... Beyond it being a kind gesture, offering to pay is a good way to get information on how the date is going. When the check comes, beware if she really does seem to want to pay her share. If she wants to pay, it's because she really doesn't want to feel obligated to you in any way shape or form. But, the single fake-wallet-grab is a good sign. Don't worry, she's gonna let you pay this time... She knows you're going to be eating all the ice cream out of her fridge in about two weeks :)

    9. kiss her
      If the first date has gone reasonably well, go for the kiss at some point towards the end. A so-so date that ends with a great kiss can = an awesome date. Sometimes you just gotta get the kiss out of the way before you can really feel comfortable with someone. So, man up and kiss her. Just do it. She'll be glad you did. Hopefully.

    10. don't try to sleep with her
      Despite the advice from 20 seconds ago (you should still tidy up your place, it's starting to smell a little), having sex on a first date is not a good idea if you think you might want a relationship with the person. Studies have shown that people who have sex on a first date have a lot more trouble developing a good date into a relationship than those who are content delaying gratification. So, even if the date is going really, really well, don't push for the sleep over. After all, it's always nice to have something to look forward to, and, when all is said and done, she'll fancy you a gentleman.
  • Sunday, September 30, 2012 9:58 PM | Mingle (Administrator)

    Many people find attending social situations a little nerve wracking to all out scary. Most people will agree that attending your first “singles party” or “speed dating” event is even scarier. I’m here to tell you, from my years of experience, that you will be okay! Here are some tips and advice from the Chicago Matchmaker on how to navigate your first singles event.


    Read our two part article on what to do before you attend a singles event and what to do at the party and you’ll be ready to mingle in no time at all!


    Please, contact me if you have any questions about attending a singles event- even if it’s not with Mingle Around. I’m more than happy to lend an ear or a word of advice.

    what to do before attending a singles event:

    1. research the venue.

    Knowledge is power and yelp is your best friend. Head over to yelp or google the venue to get a heads up on specials, parking, words of advice and to get a general feel of the place. Many people find that knowing what they are walking into (literally) helps with nerves. Check out facebook photos from the venue to get an example of the typical crowd and what they are wearing.


    2. research the event and singles event planning company.

    Of course, I’m going to tell you to visit a Mingle Around event   but no matter what singles event company you decide to attend with, check out their yelp reviews, their website and go ahead- give them a call. Most of the hosts of upcoming events will be more than happy to spend a few minutes on the phone or via email walking you through the event and this will give them a great chance to find you at the event to introduce themselves. You’ll be able to get a feel of the company online (facebook, yelp, youtube, etc) and you’ll know if you are the right demographic to fit in. If you aren't sure- ask!


    3. follow the event suggestions.

    If the event you are considering attending has an age range you should respect it. Most singles event companies will allow someone a year or two older or younger at the party, but if you are 14 years younger than the average crowd, you might feel awkward during the event.  If the event has a dress code, then by all means, follow it! If the event does not state a dress code you should dress up (see dating tip 4).


    4. dress appropriately.  

    What’s appropriate? For most events you should dress how you would on a first date to a nice restaurant. Men vastly perform better at speed dating when wearing suits (I have the research to back this up!) and women receive much more attention in a dress than in slacks. If wearing a suit makes you nervous, or you wouldn’t  be caught dead in a dress- then by all means, wear what makes you shine!


    5. tell your friends where you are going

    For safety reasons and for good luck. If you’re like many of my clients, most of your friends are married. And if they are like most married people (happily or not) they will most likely be jealous! Getting some words of encouragement from a close friend or family member can help calm your nerves.


    6. know it’s normal to be nervous. 

    I network for a living. I have to. I still hate walking into a networking event alone, and dread going to events.  Honestly, I’m a little shy and like most people could use a little more confidence! I still attend the events and within minutes of checking in, my nerves are gone and I am truly enjoying myself. So, I can understand the nerve of walking into a bar (usually alone) in order to just meet other people. Once you get into the room and are surrounded by activity and hopefully good vibes, you’ll forget you were ever nervous!

  • Saturday, September 29, 2012 9:00 PM | Mingle (Administrator)

    A bit of advice from the matchmaker on "What to do at a singles party if you're nervous." 

    I'll be honest. I get scared when attending networking events. Even though I love meeting people, I consider myself a people person and I do this for a living, I still get nervous!

    Walking into a room of 100-200 people that I don't know makes me sweat. Especially if I'm there to meet someone, network or am expected to talk to people I get extra nervous, but- here are some tips I've learned along the way. 

    1- Think of the reasons why YOU are there and then why THOSE PEOPLE are here. We are all here to meet new people. We are all here to network or to find business contacts or at the Mingle Around events, to meet new friends and potential dates. Once I get this through my head I find it easier to relax. 

    2- Arrive early/on time. It's easier to be the one people approach, then the one doing

     the approaching. So, if you arrive late- you'll have to approach groups of people who have already met. If you arrive early, those late arrivals will need to approach you. 

    3- Mingle at the bar, over games or while nibbling. I found it easier to strike up a conversation while ordering a drink, while at the appetizer table or while playing darts/pool etc.  

    4- Don't just sit there! Make it a habit to walk the room every 15 minutes. The love of your life might be on the other side of the room, but if you just sit there you'll never know it! 

    5- Chat it up with the host. There is always a host at events. Chat it up with her or him- ask for an introduction to that sexy single on the other side of the room if you need it! 

    6- Compliment someone. Everyone likes to hear an honest compliment. Don't be shy, if you love the girls shoes next to you- let her know. Maybe she'll become your wing woman, or have a brother to introduce you to! 

    7- It takes guts just to approach. So... swallow up your fear and do it! Walk up to someone and reach out your hand. Say hello and ask what he or she does for fun in Chicago or if they've seen a great movie lately. Keep the conversation short and sweet. Thank them, part ways and approach the next person. Don't fret-  If they are interested in finding out more about you they will! 

    8- In the same mind set, be kind and friendly to those who approach you. If there is no mutual connection, chat for a bit and then kindly part ways. A "it's great to meet you, but I've made it a goal to meet 10 people at this event so I should get to mingling" is always an honest and easy out.

    9- Have a goal in mind. I personally try to meet and get to know 8 people per event. If I'm there for 2 hours, that's a new person every 15 minutes. 

    10- Enjoy! Life is short- get out there and meet, mingle and have fun. 

  • Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:00 PM | Mingle (Administrator)

    A single’s list of cringe worthy acts seen and heard in Chicago


    Sure, you want to be open on a date and let your personality shine. Your Midwest attitude is friendly and well intended. But, sometimes with a few drinks in you and your date seeming to be a new confidant, it’s easy to get a little too comfortable. As soon as something foolish rolls off your tongue, you’re going to want to kick yourself; so let’s avoid embarrassing slip ups before you head out. Take a look at our list of topics that should NEVER be brought up on a first date. Have you caught yourself doing any of these? Now you’ll know just where your dates have been taking a turn for the worse! Take it from the matchmaker and DON’T:


    1. talk about family drama- yes, everyone’s got a story, but sob stories about your second cousin or your parent’s divorce may be a bit much that early on. It’ll also induce fear in him about meeting the parents- always a difficult feat!


    2. religion and politics debates- leave your pamphlets at home, please. This is even a touchy subject for the closest of couples! Work out your opposing views much later into the relationship when it matters. Bring it up only if it’s a deal breaker in who you date.

    3. discuss your wedding plans- your date hasn’t seen your Wedding Ideas Pinterest board (and good thing!), so don’t bring up the best color scheme or time of the year to get hitched until a ring is in on your finger. Imagine how bored you get when your guy rattles on about his Fantasy Football team; he’ll be just as checked out and worried you’re in a race to the altar.


    4. talk super loud- a hushed tone will keep him intrigued and leaning in for more instead. Otherwise, you’ll be gaining unwanted attention from strangers staring. Keep the conversation private.


    5. bring up for ex- there’s a reason he’s not in the picture anymore! And you don’t want your date thinking you’re still hung up on him, right? He’s not your therapist, so don’t go into details of what you or your ex did wrong in the relationship.


    Stick to polite conversation and manners for the first date. Your adorable quirks will shine through no matter what!
  • Wednesday, June 13, 2012 9:30 PM | Mingle (Administrator)
    matchmaker’s secrets for singles of sparking conversation

    Chicago has tons of great bars, events, and venues to pick up sexy singles like you, but it’s often difficult to mingle smoothly and say just the right thing. Mingle Around has compiled the best tricks to ensure a date with first impression conversation.

    let’s start with the basics

    Eye contact and a genuine smile will immediately show interest. Beware the creeper smile and staring too long, though! Also, if you look around too much, you may come off shifty or looking for the next best thing. Give her/him all your attention in a friendly way.


    compliment

    It’s a simple trick, but everyone likes to hear how great he or she looks that night! A great dress, tie, or watch is an easy conversation piece and nothing out of the ordinary to approach someone about. Keep that genuine smile in tact, and you’ll get to know this good-looking bar partner with ease.


    mutual people watching

    Everyone knows they’re looking at the 40-something man with the awful toupee. If you catch him/her staring too, the two of you can giggle over the silly people watching at the bar. You may be able to bond over critiquing people’s outfits or the bartender’s cheesy flirting techniques with the ladies. It’ll give you a sense of their humor and a feel for their personality. However, watch out for seeming condescending or judgmental. Keep the banter light and the conversation as positive as you can overall. Rude comments are so not attractive!


    use a cheesy pick-up line, with major sarcasm on the side

    Sure, women hate them, and they’re hardly used on men, but if you make it a joke, you’re sure to get her/him to crack a smile! Chalk up the cheesiness because delivery is everything here. And, don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself a little bit. If he or she does reject you, at least you can laugh it off. Here are some classics:

    • 1.    Shall we talk or continue to keep flirting from a distance?
    • 2.    Excuse me; I just noticed you noticing me, and I wanted to give you a notice that I noticed you too.
    • 3.    Aren’t you the guy who is supposed to buy me a drink? (How could a true gentleman say no?!)

    It’s a long shot, but as long as you are your most confident self, it’ll surely break the ice.


    It’s definitely nerve-racking to talk to a good-looking stranger, but with the right event, mood, and killer confidence, who knows who you’ll meet. You’d regret returning home from a night out not meeting anyone new, so a little innocent banter won’t hurt!


    Where do you want to try out these tricks? Mingle Around has plenty of upcoming events for you to check out!

  • Wednesday, June 13, 2012 9:13 PM | Mingle (Administrator)

    Know just what to say to make an impression but more importantly, get to know your fellow singles on the level YOU want to make your dating worthwhile.


    It seems easy to spark a basic “getting to know you” conversation on a date with all night to ask anything on your mind with your new date. But what about when the ring of a bell and a quick table change can halt your conversation? This, my pro Minglers, is the pressure that arises in speed dating. Don’t let that scare you off from this super fun and easy way to meet other Chicago singles though. Mingle Around organizes tons of different and exciting events for singles, but speed dating is one of our specialties, and we want to see you get the most out of these mini-dates. Make every minute of conversation count, but no matter what, have fun with it! Here’s some basic yet original tips to keep in mind when meeting date prospects during speed dating.


    before you go:

    While prepping for the night, take some time to plan out questions you want to to ask. The basics of where he/she is form, what they do for a living, favorite movies, books, and overall interests, are a quick gateway into flowing conversation, but don’t waste time thinking of these questions at the event. You’ll want to know as much as possible within your time limit, so decide what you really want to know from your date. Rapid-fire questions, though intimidating, can definitely be expected!


    know your answers

    Not only will you want to get to know as much as you can about the date sitting across from you, but he/she will want to find out about you too! To avoid any awkward pauses, give some thought to how you would answer the questions you intend to ask; it’ll be easy for him/her to ask right back, “What about you?” You may not often think much about what you do for fun, or some of your most basic thoughts or beliefs. Where’s your favorite place to vacation? What’s your favorite book? Some quirks about yourself? Go ahead and be selfish, think only about yourself for a bit too; you may be surprised by your own answers!

     

    touchy subjects:

    If it’s one of your first speed dating events, surely you’ll be a bundle of nerves “What kind of people will be there? What do I ask? What will they think of me?” will probably be buzzing through your head, and most of all, you’ll probably be jittery about pushing someone’s buttons or saying the wrong thing. No pressure, right? Since you never know what someone may take the wrong way, keep the conversation at surface level. Sure, you’ll want to stand out, but your personality will shine through plenty with the simplest of questions. The tougher topics of politics or religion can wait until a few more (longer) dates in.

     

    yes, no, end of conversation.

    Any moment of silence is time lost getting to know someone in this fast-paced event. Keep the conversation flowing with confidence by asking open-ended questions. Anything you ask with a “yes” or “no” answer starts you back at square 1, and the conversation will be static, especially if your date is shy or doesn’t seem to have much to say. Telling stories or explaining answers can lead to something else you may be familiar with. Ask follow up questions to what the other may start talking about; he/she will notice that you’re interested.

     

    when all else fails, laugh

    Everyone seems to say they’re looking for someone with a sense of humor; so if you’re really looking to switch it up from surface-level conversation, ask some silly yet thoughtful questions. You’ll certainly be remembered, but you’ll still get to know your dates pretty well. Here are some of my favorites:

    • 1.    What was the first person you ever had a crush on like? Everyone has a funny first love
    • 2.    Which television program would you refuse to give up for a night out with me?
    • 3.    If you were thrown in jail for a bad habit, what would be your bad habit crime?
    • 4.    What would your superpower be? Would it be for good or evil use?
    Remember that speed dating is not the place you’ll meet your soul mate (at least you won’t know that night!) and to relax. If you go into the event lightheartedly and confidently, you’re sure to have a fun time and meet some interesting people.
  • Wednesday, May 16, 2012 7:00 PM | Mingle (Administrator)
    look great

    Of course your personality matters, but truth be told, you’ve only got a few minutes to make an impression. Dress well and make sure your putting your best foot forward.

    smile

    So easy. Even if you aren’t that excited about the mini date you are on, you may be being scooped out by the next date over!

    watch your body language

    Sit up straight! Crossing your arms and tapping your pen will make you appear annoyed and on guard. Lean in, smile and keep your body facing your date. Ask a friend if you have any nervous ticks (like fiddling with your pen, tapping your foot, etc) and you’ll be aware of things to watch out for.

    don’t drink too much

    You’ll want to stay focused and alert and not give off the idea that you are a bar fly. You know what happens when you drink to much at a speed dating event? You check yes to everyone and no one checks yes to you.

    conversations are two sided

    Don’t ask the cliché questions. Do ask open ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. When being asked questions, make sure to turn the question back around.

    focus on the other person

    This is probably one of the most important speed dating tips. Focus the conversation on learning more about the person you’re sitting across from than on advertising yourself. Everyone enjoys talking about things they’re passionate about. Find out what the person’s passion is, and ask questions that will draw them out.

    follow up without pressure

    At the end of the evening or a few days later, you’ll receive contact information for people you expressed an interest in who felt the same way. Send a short, friendly email to let them know you enjoyed meeting them and thanking them. Don’t send a novel and don’t pester them if they don’t answer within a few hours or even the same day. The person may be genuinely interested, but very busy, so give them a few days to respond.

    have fun!

    Don’t make each speed date a test or challenge. Simply look at it as an opportunity to meet lots of interesting people and make some new friends. If you do these simple speed dating tips, you’ll find yourself enjoying the evening for its own sake. If a few dates come out of it, they will be a wonderful bonus.
  • Tuesday, March 27, 2012 8:30 PM | Mingle (Administrator)
    the sexy eyes (how to guide to making a man come to you)


    how to make “sexy eyes” across the bar.


    I’m a huge fan of eye contact. It says so much with out saying anything. It can make a man stop mid sentence and stare from across a crowded bar. It brings him to you with out him thinking you did anything to make it happen. It lets him be “the man”.


    Holding eye contact with a sexy single across the bar can be very intimidating if this is new to you. Held eye contact is typically reserved for friends, family and lovers. That’s what makes this move so intense, as catching and holding someones eyes, with out hesitation is bold and sexy. The men you hold eyes with will know you’re interested and it gives them the “green light” to approach.


    how to flirt with your eyes:

    1. Find your love interest from across the crowded bar, club, bookstore, coffee shop.

    2. Catch his eye.

    3. Hold eye contact for 3 seconds with a slight, coy smile.

    4. Drop eye contact, tilt your head down and coyly smile to yourself.

    5. Wait for him to approach.


    Repeat up to 3 times on the same man. If he doesn’t approach you, then he’s either not interested or in a relationship.


    Good luck, and when you're ready to practice on a room full of single, sexy men check out our singles events!
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